Beating Protocol 2: You're fired!
by Josephus Prime
Summary: "Should I do whatever it takes to earn her love and hand?" The pain was getting to be too much, but Lan Fan nodded anyway. Ling smiled. "Great! You're fired!"


Lan Fan marched down the hallway of the Imperial Palace.

Well, marched was maybe the wrong term. She was walking and running simultaneously, racing down the hallway to get to the throne room.

Why was she in a hurry? It was obvious, of course: Ling had called for her.

The guards opened the door for her and she threw herself down on her knee before her emperor. "You summoned me, my lord?"

"Hi, Lan Fan!" His cheery voice made her heart soar into her head and whizz around like a dragonfly. She dared look up, stealing a glimpse at her lord for behind her mask. He was dressed in his finest robes, and, given that most, if not all of his robes were of finest quality, was saying something.

She looked back down intently at the floor, feeling her cheeks grow hot under his gaze. She could feel his eyes on her, and it made her feel...anxious. But also excited.

But mostly anxious.

Finally he stepped forward, and she felt her cheeks grow hotter and hotter, and then she dared to look up. Ling was smiling at her happily hands on his hips. "C'mon, up you get! Let's talk for a moment, shall we?" She stood, arms at her side, rigid, as he walked towards a window, looking out at his city. With but a motion, his attendants were gone. "Lan Fan," he said, not looking at her, "Take off your mask."

She hesitated for only a moment before she did as she commanded, reaching up with her atuomail arm and removing her mask, feeling her cheeks grow hotter.

Out of embarrassment that she was blushing in the first place, of course.

Lan Fan cursed herself silently as she waited for Ling to say something, anything. Finally, "Lan Fan, I need some advice."

She nodded instantly. "Of course, my lord."

He gave a single laugh, soft and smooth. "I've got a problem, you see, and damn me if I can't think of a single answer!" He turned at her, smiling. Lan Fan saw avarice in his smile, which she was accustomed too. "See everyone wants me to hurry up and take a wife and make babies already. The problem is," he said, looking back at the city with disdain, "I'm not sure I was some ordinary girl as my wife."

Lan Fan held back her gasp. This was simply not the way things were done! Not in Xing! The Emperor would take a wife from each clan and leave a progeny in each, so that they wouldn't war over who would succeed him. Not just that, but Ling was greedy. He had even housed Greed himself for a period, and Lan Fan was a well aware that Ling's avarice could actually parallel or even succeed the homonculi's.

Finally, she dared to speak. "Forgive me, my lord," she gulped a little, eyes wide as she watched him gaze out at the city, "But is that wise?"

Ling looked back at her, raising an eyebrow. "Hell with wise," He said with a smile, "I'm appointing May as my successor. With her connections to Amestris through Alphonse Elric, they'd be hard pressed to turn her down!"

"But," Lan Fan said, "There's still the matter of your marriage! Do you intend to go without a wife or heir?" She was on the verge of losing her composure and panicking. This was certainly Ling-like behavior, but even this was going too far.

To her shock, Ling smiled and shook his head, grinning widely. "'Course not! I've already got the perfect wife all picked out!"

Lan Fan couldn't describe the pain she felt when she heard those words.

"I've already got the perfect wife all picked out!"

They echoed in her mind, driving tears to her eyes. She fought them back, lowering her head and pressing her palms together in a bow. "That-" She said, gulping back the sobs that tore for release, "That is good news, my lord. But,' She said, looking up with hard eyes, "What am I to do?"

It was a question for her as much as it was one for him. She had no idea what to do now. Serve him, of course, as was her desire and duty. But to see him with another woman? Married? With kids?

It made her blood boil and her heart shatter.

"It's simple," He said, sitting down on his cushy pillow, smiling blissfully at her, "I need some advice from my best advisor on how to go about this." His face fell into a serious look as he continued to keep his eyes on Lan Fan, the bodyguard remaining composed and still despite the hurt that tore at her. "Should I even try?"

Lan Fan blinked, before nodding. "My lord, I have known you for a long time. In that time, I never known you to give up on anything your heart desired."

It hurt her even more to speak those words. She longed to scream that no girl would be good enough to math him, but that she was willing to be that girl for him in heartbeat. She wanted to rush him and kiss him till the sun was gone forever or until he would accept her love.

If not, she was bound to serve him and his family forever, and she would.

But she wouldn't like it.

Ling furrowed his brow, growing uncharacteristically more serious. "I'm putting a lot on the line here, Lan Fan. My heart tell me that this is the right thing to do, for me and for her. Should I do whatever it takes to earn her love and hand?"

The pain was getting to be too much, but Lan Fan nodded anyway.

Ling smiled. "Great! You're fired!"

If there as any way her pain could get worse, this was it. She felt her knees grew weaksas she fell to the ground, eyes wide, gaping in shock at Ling. Her world had just shattered around her. "My lord," she said, unable to restrain the tears of pain, "What have I done? Have I shamed you?" She fell to her hands, bowing before Ling. "Please, forgive me! I will do whatever is necessary to redeem myself and my clan! Even the ultimate sacrifice."

Suicide sounded good right now, actually. She was about to reach for a kunai when Ling spoke. "Lan Fan, what the hell are you talking about?"

She looked, up, teary eyes wide in shock once more as Ling looked at her, confused, if not more so than she was. "My Lord, you no longer desire me as your bodyguard…"

"What?" Ling said, standing, hands raised in an appeasing gesture, "I never said that! I can't marry you if you're employed to be my bodyguard, can I?"

The wheels in Lan Fan head stopped turning. She blinked, piecing the words he had said together one by one.

And then the atomic blush flooded her face. "What?" She breathed.

Ling blinked, kneeling down on the floor in front of her. Slipping a small cloth out of his sleeve, he wiped her face gently. "I'm afraid to say my greed is getting the better of me again. Every time I look at you," He said with a happily smile, "I get all possessive! The guards eye you all the time, along with some of the other princes, and, I gotta say," he said, scowling as he slipped the cloth away, Lan Fan blinking in shock, "You have no idea how much I want to push them off a palace terrace just for that!"

Lan Fan felt her eyes tear up again, and gazed and Ling in a daze. It felt like a dream. She was temped to pinch herself, but she felt numb all over. She just looked into Ling's grinning face. "But," she said, still blinking back the tears of rapture that threatened to overcome her, "But what about…I'm simply an ordinary bodyguard," She said, and Ling threw back his head and laughed.

When he finished, he wiped his eyes, smiling radiantly at the shocked Lan Fan. "Lan Fan, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but I'm afraid you're beyond extraordinary." He smiled at her, sitting cross-legged in front of her, happy as a lark as she knelt there in front of him, still trying to process what was going on, "You've done more for me than anyone, but I want more from you." He kept smiling. "I'm afraid I'm unwilling to let any other man have you. You're stuck with plain ol' me, Lan Fan, forever and ever."

The ninja smiled, her eyes flooding with tears with sudden speed, she embraced Ling. After a moment, he wrapped his arms tightly around her, holding her tightly as Lan Fan held her emperor.

Her husband.

The words made her heart soar and her soul sing, but there was one thing left. 'Ling," she finally asked, sitting back on her legs as the Emperor blinked at her, "I have to know," She wiped her eye with her sleeve as she looked at him, trying to see the truth in his eyes. "Do you love me? Truly?"

Ling blinked and smiled widely, giggling a little as he responded with the eloquence and vast intelligence that only the emperor of Xing, and now Lan Fan's husband, could speak with.

"Well, _duh_."


End file.
